basements, garages and the constant quest for control

My basement sucks. It floods regularly even when it's not raining. I have uninvited plant life growing in the french drains. And it smells. I have attempted to control these issues with two highly overworked sump pumps but sometimes even that doesn't work. This past weekend, when one sump first clogged (2 hours to fix) then burned out altogether, I watched as roughly 2 inches of water covered my basement floor. In my second attempt to fix the problem I broke some pipes--got frustrated--did some cursing and then did what any self respecting male with an unsatisfied need to fix things would do. I sloshed through the water, walked upstairs, dried off my pruny feet and sought to gain control of some other part of my life--preferably something that lacked the ability to intelligently interact with me--like children, or a wife, or even a cat for that matter (who, by the way, insists on peeing in our dining room and crapping in our guestroom even when her box is squeaky clean). My once beautiful garage had become the household dumping grounds since the end of the summer, so I angrily declared that "I was cleaning the garage and I don't want help". This was an area that I could control. This, I can fix! I swept, I cleaned, I organized. I listened to NPR--my personal place of zen. And I thought about mankind's desire for control.

Basements and garages are really inconsequential in the grand scheme of life but the lessons are the same for more important things. How often do we/I attempt to gain more control in one relationship because another seems out of control? If I can't fix my kids and make them obey me, I find something to complain to my wife about. If I'm spinning my wheels on an important project at work, but can't seem to get traction--I switch to something else that I can easily conquer. I guess it's not so much a control thing--it's an order thing. I don't think I'm a control freak--I think I'm an order freak. If one part of my life is out of order and I can't fix it--I seek to find order somewhere else, anywhere else.

Like most things in life, our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. My need for order makes me a good manager and a terrible visionary. My need for order makes me a good head of household, while often lacking on leading the souls within that household. Finances and yard work are simple and straightforward while marriage and parenting are complex and messy. This is life after the fall (Genesis). Our only option is to identify the sinful side of control and order-confess it and move on--while preserving the positives of those very same qualities.

pt